Speculation, Fact and Fiction

This was the first thing the teenager behind the counter said to me this morning, as I put a jiffy-bag on the scales, saying as I did so, 'Good morning, UK first class, please'.

I aim to be polite, even after queueing for 15 minutes as is routine now that we only have the central post office left locally, and the line of people waiting frequently stretches out through the doorway regardless of time of day. It's not uncommon to wait for half an hour.

The thing is, it wasn't a rhetorical question. She sat there, looking belligerent and expecting an answer, not making any move towards printing a label for the parcel or anything constructive.

Oh, the temptation. 'Well, yes, I knew that but I thought I'd do it anyway, just to piss you off.'

Or, 'Can I see your supervisor please. I'd like to suggest some customer service training to cure you of this inclination to be simultaneously aggressive and patronising.'

What I actually said, still politely, was 'No, obviously I didn't know that or I wouldn't have stapled it. And apparently neither do the very many people who regularly send me stapled envelopes.'

Teenager, still with the belligerent expression, 'Well, you shouldn't, because staples can catch inside the postman's bag.' With an air of someone doing a huge favour despite the massive inconvenience it's putting her to, she reached about six inches for some tape and scissors. 'I can put some tape over them for you this time.'

So now you know.